For Papas

A Father's Day Gift Guide, a guest post by Ash Narayan

Hello!

Today’s brings us a *bonus* newsletter, kindly written by my most stylish guy friend, Ash Narayan (if you can make it past the follow request and into the exclusive, sub 300 group of his followers, the stories worth it). He's taking care of my toughest gift-giving challenge - getting presents for the gentlemen in my life.

For today, here’s just one product I have been loving lately: the Hanni in shower moisture balm. My skin is so dry I might as well be half French, half Crocodile. And since I’m always in a rush I hate the inconvenient idle time of letting my body dry before applying lotion before getting into clothes. This balm gets applied in the shower and truly leaves the skin very supple - a great step while you let conditioner or a hair mask rest if you’re flexing a productive shower.

I’m also now in a rabbit hole of figuring out how to get amazing UGC videos like they have on their site on the Ghia PDPs - I wish I could switch off my founder brain just for a few hours. So, who wants to make UGC video cocktails for me? Volunteer in the comments and I’ll send you a nice care package!

Speak to you next week!

Kiss Kiss,
Melanie

Ash Narayan’s Substack, Sick Boy, is a diaristic collection of essays that blends dark humor with romantic self-sabotage and cultural observation. He usually writes about the burgundy linen vareuse he should have bought from Mies, and the Jacques Audiard films you start just to snap a picture of the opening credits. Sometimes he writes about people who photograph their stacks of cash at Rao’s, and how he wishes he could be one of them. At the end of the day, it’s a newsletter about wanting to like fennel soup, but buying leeks at the farmer’s market—because they look better hanging out the back of a withered boat and tote.

My dad has never cared about clothes. He’s been walking around with the same Levi’s for as long as I’ve known. The back pocket is raggedy. The wallet sliding out is raggedy, too.

No matter how many times we’ve begged. That is my mother, sister, and me. He’s refused to find a new pair. Even if he did, I’m not entirely sure how well they’d look. Let alone fit.

The one time I went shopping with him, he took me to Mervyn’s. A now-shuttered mid-scale department store in Northern California. Next to a now-shuttered Toys " R " Us.

I wanted the Levi’s that were tight enough to see the change in my pocket. He bought me the ones that were so loose you could barely tell I had two knees.

The crotch on those jeans blew out the first day I wore them to school. I had to spend periods 4 through 7 in moist mesh shorts that made me feel quite ill at ease.I can’t blame my dad for not caring about clothes. Even though I really did.

He worked hard to give me a good life. A life in which I could afford to care about the pants I own. And the muddy Japanese island they were dyed on. In return, I gave him a never-worn chore coat from APC and my old Oxford shirts from Supreme.

I should be better at giving to those who gave their all to me. I think we all should.

Father’s Day is June 15th. So let’s try and make it quick.

Calvin Klein Shirts, $27 | J. Mueser Suit, POA | Jacques Marie Mage Sunglasses, $870 | Nike Cap, $30 | Bottega Veneta Belt, $750 | Loro Piana Candle, $480 | Hermès eau de toilette, $345 | Paraboot Lace-Up Shoes, $528 | L.L. Bean Sweater, $79

1. The best thing I ever lost was my dad’s favorite pair of Oakleys. I was scrambling for my cookie pass at Squaw Valley when they slipped off my head and over the side of the KT lift. Maybe if I purchase these, he’ll take me back up the face of the mountain. Jacques Marie Mage, $870

2. No man who barked at you when you were learning to park should be forced to wear a sweater you’d scroll past between Alyx and Yohji. This roll neck from L.L. Bean will help put him at ease. L.L. Bean, $79

3. I’m pretty sure the only candle my father’s ever lit was the pay-what-you-can kind at church. I guess it worked. I got off academic probation. Let’s hope your dad has to light this one when your partner comes over wearing Hysteric Glamour instead. Loro Piana, $480

4. Every time my dad catches me buying new jeans, he reminds me he’s been the same waist size since he was twenty-three. This year I’m buying him an 80cm belt. Let’s see if the bunny ears break. Bottega Veneta, $750

5. I don’t think my dad can cook. He certainly can’t grill. He once put tuna salad on my spaghetti while my mom was out teaching a late-night spin class. Unless you call your dad by his first name, I wouldn’t get him a Big Green Egg. Chi Spacca, POA

6. Every time my dad showers, I complain he still smells like the back of a yellow cab. I’m allowed to say that. You’re not. It’s asafetida to you. Or Poivre Samarcande, if you have $345 to spend on your father. Hermès, $345

7. My father laughs at the outfits in the T Magazine fashion issue. Stylist’s own and Tom Ford, POA. I used to laugh. Now I buy those things and pay later. Or I tell you to buy them and hope I get 7%. Here’s something I wear every day. So does my father. Calvin Klein, $27

8. Nobody likes hearing about a Provençal summer vacation less than a father who has to pay for a Provençal summer vacation. Let’s maybe buy him a new suit before we ask if we can swim under a Calder. J. Mueser, POA

9. My sister and I once got my dad AirPods for his birthday. After he said thanks, he said he doesn’t really like hearing another man’s voice in his ears. This year, we’ll get him a Dri-FIT hat and see what he says after, “I didn’t need that.” Nike, $30

10. My parents have a great behemoth of a shoe case at home. A fortress for scratched leather and abused rubber. There isn’t a good pair in the lot. So I’m getting my dad some lug soles he can hurl at me when I say I’m not going back to school in September. Paraboot, $528

    

    Laboratorio Paravicini plates, $75 | Ralph Lauren plates, $75 | Supreme x Tiffany & Co. Keychain, $758 | Bottega Veneta keychain, $390 | Buck Mason Shirt, $138 | Tiffany & Co. cufflinks, $340 | Dunhill cufflinks, $495 | Alessi Bottle, $48 | Hyperice, $129

11. My father said he read Walden in prison. I’ve only seen Tintin on his desk. Made in Japan is the one book I’ve heard him recommend the most. Made in Japan by Akio Morita, $40

12. My dad hasn’t exercised since he was kicked out of his local yoga studio for allegedly dropping a banana peel outside the front door. A man claimed he nearly slipped on it, and complained it was littering. My dad said it was biodegradable, and that he’d never do such a thing. This will help ease the muscle pain if they ever let him back in. Hyperice, $129

13. If you regularly call your dad “Father,” chances are he already has a shirt from the second floor of Charvet. Why not go the extra mile and get him some cufflinks he can wear when you drag him to meet your boyfriend at Le Saint-Gervais? Tiffany & Co., $340 or Dunhill, $495

14. I’ve never called my dad “Father.” And he’s never dared step foot inside Charvet with me. His hand always guarding his worn wallet from the thieves with big addresses along Place Vendôme. So I’ll get him a shirt he can wear while he makes tea. Buck Mason, $138

15. I’ve always wondered why my parents never bought antique ceramics. Like the ones you see recommended in Substacks by writers with Green River chairs. Then I found an old photo of me, precariously eating cake. Frosting smeared all over my eyes, ears, nose, and face. Now that I’m out of the way, I can get them some nice plates. Laboratorio Paravicini, $75 or Ralph Lauren, $75

16. I like coffee shops that are an assault on the senses. Vintage Supreme enters stage right, empty-handed. Contemporary Staud exits stage left, cream top in hand. I bet your dad doesn’t. Roll up the windows of the SL. Put on the Stüssy shades. Let him bring his own cold brew in a flask from home. Alessi, $48

17. My dad wanted me to become an investment banker after watching The Family Man and seeing the Ferrari Nicholas Cage drove, before God or Don Cheadle took it away from him. Far too greedy and self-absorbed, etc, etc. I ended up becoming a stylist. But now I can get him something only a licensed broker would love. Supreme x Tiffany & Co. Keychain, $758 or Bottega Veneta, $390.

18. My dad never taught me to shave. My mom did. Every time I take a razor to my face, I still manage to cut myself. Not because she taught me wrong, but because I like to rush. And because I won’t spend more than twelve dollars on a fresh razor. Spend five bucks more and go slow, baby girl. Gillette, $19.49

    

    Dior Homme jacket, $2,250 | Bucciarelli coaster, $80.99 | Made In Japan Book, $40 | Christofle coasters, $325 | Thorlo Socks, $16.99 | Ghia, $38| Wüsthof knives, $275 or Alighieri knife, $285 | La Roche Posay set, $34.99 | RRL Jeans, $295

19. I used to hope that when I fell off a handrail, I would scar. My father has a big scar. He says it’s when he ran for class president and the opposing candidate put a knife to his cheek. I don’t want scars on my cheeks. I’m scared of marks that stay. This cream helps keep them away. La Roche-Posay, $34.99

20. My dad doesn’t usually drink anything other than beer or tap water. Pellegrino, if it’s one of our birthdays. Perrier, if it’s his. He doesn’t like sweet. He’s not a fan of sour. He recoils from spice. Let’s see how he feels about vibrant, fresh, and satisfyingly bitter. Ghia, $38

21. For years, I thought my father's birthday was in June. It's what it says on his green card. Turns out it’s December 19th. How should I have known? I’ve never actually bought him a present on either of those days. Just showed him what I wanted for myself. Of everything I’ve ever told you to buy, this is what I’ll be getting for my dad. RRL, $295

22. My dad hated it when I switched from computer science to economics. He hated it even more when I said I was going to be a lawyer. Then I said I was a freelance stylist. He bought me an LSAT prep book after that. But the one thing he hates more than that is when I put a glass of water straight down on our twenty-seven-year-old Pottery Barn table. Bucciarelli, $80.99 or Christofle, $325

23. My dad was discharged from the Air Force because of an imbalance in his ears. He says he likes the infantry more now. We don’t watch Top Gun nearly as much as we endure this. Black Hawk Down, $3.99

24. One of you who earns 15% commission on affiliate links five times a week should buy this jacket for your dad. The only person I’ve seen successfully pull it off is Sam Hine. Maybe someone without an IG should give it a try. Dior Homme, $2,250

25. Uniqlo socks are for your friend who followed K-Hole and interned at Something Special Studios. Thorlos are the socks for your father who wishes you had taken the ball a little earlier. Like those videos of Andre Agassi he tried to show you. Time and time again. Thorlo, $16.99

26. I’ve never watched sports with my dad. The closest was when he made me run up the stairs of the Taube Family Tennis Stadium with him, and we saw Venus Williams warming up with Richard before a second-round match at the Bank of the West Classic. He says she waved back. Maybe she’ll wave to yours, too. U.S. Open, POA

27. My girlfriend says a dad would probably want new knives. So does Esquire, GQ, Men’s Health, and Wired. I can’t cut a raspberry almond croissant in two with my dad’s bread knife. So maybe he needs some, too. I can’t expect him to sharpen the paring knife he already has. Wüsthof, $275 or Alighieri, $285

    

    Olympus StylusEpic, $225 | Contax TS, $887.90 | J. Crew Tie, $69.50 | Bode bag, $260 | Hermès bag, $3,859.89 | Loewe wallet, $350 | CamelBak Bottle, $13.99 | Elsa Peretti Bean Money Clip, $153 | L.A. Apparel Sweatshirt, $79

28. I don’t want my father to drink water from a titanium bottle. I don’t want my dad to hold something made by an object designer. I want my dad to drink water from a bottle that burns in the sun. That cracks when it falls. That I’m embarrassed to hold in the airport. Even when I’m on my own. CamelBak, $13.99

29. Every time I’m on set, I pray I don’t have to tie a tie. I don’t know how to. Neither does my dad. He bought a suit at Nordstrom once. The sales associate put on his tie. Now he just slips it back on every time we dine at a restaurant that won’t seat you until you have silk around your throat. J. Crew, $69.50

30. My sister and I once got our dad a bench press from Best Buy, but he complained the bar was too long. So we returned it and never saw him actually hit chest. He says he can do 285. That’s not enough to get a plaque on the basement gym wall. Maybe he’ll be able to bend this bar. Deltech Fitness, $299.00

31. When I wear a zip-up hoodie, I feel like a recent college grad who took a software engineering job at Google in 2018. Because the pay was too good, and I could eat Flour + Water pizza at Dolores Park during my lunch break. Maybe if my dad wears this one, he’ll look less like Satya Nadella and more like Mickey Rourke in Bullet. LA Apparel, $79

32. My dad says he learned to write by reading the New York Times cover to cover. But all I’ve ever seen him type is “ok” when I got into Harvard, and “you’ll fuck us” when I crashed the family car. He likes reading about the Ellison family in Hollywood, and which politician is eating beetroot bucatini with Vinod. So I’m getting him a subscription to Puck. He can read it next to the Grey Lady, and I can log in to see if Jonathan Anderson ever gets womenswear at Dior. Puck, $17/month

33. If my daughter bought me this bag, I’d stop spending her college fund on brushed stretch-cotton sweatpants. But I don’t have a daughter. And ReSee offers checkout with Affirm. So if you don’t buy it, I might. Move quickly. My gym bag could be yours. Hermès, $3,859.89 or Bode, $260

34. I think it would be funny if you got your dad a Contax T2 and your boyfriend an iPhone 4. Let Mel flip a coin to see who shoots Lorde in Washington Square. Contax, $887.90 or Olympus, $225

35. I’ve run out of things to say about my father. It’s time your dad paid for your Marmite butter and marinated anchovies. Pull out that Elsa Peretti Bean money clip. Sorry, we’re card only, sir. Tiffany & Co., $153 or Loewe, $350

Graphics by Paige Stewart Enslow